My Relationship With Caffeine?… It’s Complicated.

For most of my life, coffee with caffeine felt unquestionably good.

In college, it was social. In the firehouse it was survival. In fitness, it was performance.  In the coffee industry, it’s celebrated.

More energy. More focus. More output.

It’s worth noting that caffeine isn’t actually energy. It temporarily blocks the brain's ability to recognize fatigue.

What could possibly be wrong with that?

Somewhere in my 40s, probably around my sixth cup of coffee one morning, I started noticing interrupted sleep, random jitters, and something even more interesting. I still loved caffeine but was no longer blindly infatuated with it. This is where things got complicated.

Coffee Was Never Just a Drink

Long before I owned a coffee roastery, coffee was already stitched into my life.

In the firehouse, coffee wasn’t trendy. Nobody, including myself, cared about flavor notes or processing methods. Coffee was just another tool. It was fuel.

Most nights in the firehouse, there wasn’t much sleep to speak of. In my first firehouse in Harlem, busy days turned into even busier nights. Red, puffy eyes squinting open as the signs of first light hit the horizon. Coffee helped bridge the gap between exhaustion and responsibility.

Sometimes the glow was the big round ball in the sky. Sometimes the glow was a six-story structure fire. We would refer to those early morning fires as a “Harlem Sunrise.”

Looking back, though, what I miss most isn’t just the coffee itself. It’s the people and the tradition surrounding it.

Coffee has always done something rare in human culture: Despite caffeine’s energizing effects, it gives people a reason to slow down together. That part still matters to me in a big way.

Coffee and Caffeine Aren’t the Same Relationship

This took me years to realize.

I love coffee. I love the smell, the process, the community, the nostalgia. I love watching people connect and in the café, I really love connecting with them. Caffeine, on the other hand, is a slightly different relationship.

Most mornings caffeine brings clarity, momentum, creativity and blogs like this. Other times I look down and realize I’m six cups deep, drinking coffee like it holds the antidote—and suddenly, I can’t sit still.

Caffeine can also affect my sleep and supercharge anxiety.

Sleep Changed the Conversation

When I was younger, sleep felt optional. Now it feels valuable. Not just because being tired is unpleasant, but because quality sleep affects almost everything:

• Recovery
• Focus
• Stress
• Patience
• Athletic performance
• Long-term health

I am blessed and cursed with a personality and drive that wants to always do more, build more, train more, risk more, create more and accomplish more. Going to bed feels like surrendering productive hours back to the universe. But I’ve learned that I can’t continuously borrow energy from tomorrow.

Decaf Changed My Relationship With Coffee

Actually, great decaf changed my relationship with coffee entirely. I used to think decaf was gross and depressing. Honestly, in many places, it still is.

Everyone knows most decaf experiences are incredibly disappointing. It’s usually over-roasted to the point of being burnt—a flat, lifeless, forgettable experience.

As a coffee roaster, I find that experience unforgivable. At Tradition Coffee Roasters, we have a decaf that changed the narrative.

Our Swiss Water Decaf tastes like real coffee because it is real coffee…just without caffeine. It’s a medium roast and we source throughout the year as single origins from various Central and South American countries (Guatemala, Peru, etc.). To learn more about how it’s decaffeinated, click here.

“For those of you who need to hear this — It’s ok to drink decaf!”

One of the things I appreciate most about decaf is that it gives me more time with coffee. I can enjoy it at any hour without any sacrifice.

These days, my relationship with coffee is simply a little more intentional. Some mornings I want the jolt. Some evenings, I just want the ritual.

The good news: Caffeine and I worked it out. I still love my caffeinated coffee but our Water Pressed Decaf has a permanent place both in my heart and my cup. Some relationships are worth it, even when they're complicated.